Meet Marshall Catch


Luke Lautaret - Lead Vocals, Guitars

Luke Lautaret with Marshall Catch
Luke Lautaret first entered this world sometime in the early 80s; exact details are somewhat sketchy due to a partially successful cover-up, but we do know that the tragic event involved a comically oversized gallstone (by all accounts still the record-holder in Buffalo County, Nebraska), 10 uncut sheets of industrial grade sandpaper, and his parents’ Eastern European pool boy, Horvath. Needless to say, the shame felt throughout the community in the aftermath of Luke’s birth was too great for his family to bear, and they were forced to relocate to northwest Montana upon hearing an unfounded rumor that television had not yet reached this part of the continent, and the people here “just wouldn’t know.”
Upon finally receiving an “acceptable” gender assignment surgery (not reassignment; he hadn’t received one in the first place), Luke was enrolled in elementary school. Sadly, his notoriety at capturing, training, and then unleashing ill-tempered feral pigeons upon his unsuspecting classmates forced his parents to place him into 17 years of homeschooling; his siblings, now ostracized and shunned due to Luke’s behavior, were soon to follow. Tensions between them would reach a fever pitch that same Thanksgiving, leading to the creation of Luke’s least favorite holiday tradition, an obscene activity largely based upon a liberal and malicious redefining of the term “pigeon-holing.”

Luke Lautaret Photo Gallery